Friends…some days we can’t live with them and then, we really can’t live without them. Oh my!
I don’t know if everyone else has always had an easy ride with friends—making and maintaining them. Well, that’s not me. It’s been a sweet but bumpy ride. Smh. It took me time to realize the kind of friend I am, and the nature of friendship I offer. It took lots of unmet expectations, and a whole lot of guilty feelings, coupled with sober reflections as I lay on my bed or paced some walkway, to get me right. But then it finally happened for me.
As terrible as it might appear at a first read, I realized that as much as I would always do my best to be available to my friends when they needed me, I wasn’t the friend who’d be all up in their businesses day after day—dropping hi’s and hello’s and waiting for replies. It took a measure of balance before I reached where I am now.
Like you, I understand—and have even experienced—the importance of good friends; especially those ones that give you as much support as you offer them. There’s great satisfaction in a mutually beneficial friendship. Everyone enjoys having someone to call ‘friend’ because they are a support system.
Knowing how important friends are, to our well-being and overall growth, here are 7 tips on making and maintaining friendships.
1. Know the kind of circle you need. As you walk through life, seek out people that have same vision or drive as you, and make intentional efforts to be their friends
2. As you go out seeking for friends, be a friend. It’s said that you attract your kind. Methinks it will be easier on you, and much better, if you simply decide to be a friend to someone. Be that support system for someone. Proverbs 18:24 puts it this way: “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly….” You won’t know the worth of a good friend if you’ve never been one, or needed one.
3. Don’t spend all of your life, seeking to make new friends. Value the existing ones—those ones who have shown commitment—build on the relationship and work to sustain them.
4. Don’t spend too much time pursuing company. Discover purpose and walk in it; it’ll connect you to the perfect companions. If you’ve been living intentionally, sit back and you’ll realize the truth in this statement.
5. Be that friend that spurs others towards achieving their best. Challenge your friends. Encourage their growth and development. Share opportunities with them. Be valuable.
6. Don’t get overly committed to friendships till there’s an equal level of commitment from the other party. Stay caring, nonetheless. The beauty is in the mutual efforts. I won’t advise you drain yourself out to give a 90, when they can’t even manage to deliver a 30.
7. Again, choose with prudence. A good friend serves as a bulwark; in your weakest moments, they’re a support system. Baltasar Gracian wisely advised: “Make your friends your teachers and mingle the pleasures of conversation with the advantages of instruction.”
Each waking moment has me bursting in gratitude, for the gift of friends…for the gift of people. They’ve made the journey over here much better.
Did you enjoy this or do you have a question? Then let me know through a comment.
Remember you are light, SHINE!
❤
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