HOW MUCH SHOULD YOU RELY ON THE EXPERIENCES OF OTHERS?

As I write this to you, I’m currently a federal government pikin; a youth obeying the clarion call. I just love this word arrangement, hehe.

I’ve been in the orientation camp for 2 weeks+ now and while I can’t deny that the regimented system still gets to me, my experience differs in so many ways from what I heard from others. If you’re a Nigerian graduate, you can relate with the fears and uncertainties that come with the thought of the three weeks in camp.

Prior to camp, I got friends to share their experiences and my inquiries and research weren’t futile— I gathered it all… I was told that the food is bad, the soldiers mean, and that I had to watch my possessions very carefully but I’ve stayed in camp this long and none of that hold true..lol.

Okay, let me edit that: these things happen and might have seemed to be the case a little, but not to the extent the tales exaggerated. But then, I have friends who love telling stories with so much color, shout out to y’all,  lol. I was also intimated on how strenuous the parade will be; in that respect , they were right!

Now, let’s take a cue from this and look at other life scenarios.

There’s been cases where the information we gathered from the experiences of others turn out to be different from our reality. What then should be the right disposition? Is experience really the best teacher? And can we learn from the experiences of others? If yes, how much should we rely on it?

Here’s what a good friend and ardent reader on LHB had to say:

Hi, first of all, I think this is a really cool and important subject for deliberation. All through life, we get hit in the face by people’s experiences, versions of events, belief systems, opinions. Some offered actually with a heart to help; others, to deliberately create fear; others, just because they cannot keep their lives and its business to themselves.

These various things which get thrown at us left, right, center, unfortunately(or fortunately), gradually shape and form who we are— the core of our belief systems. They create a screen through which we begin to see life and this has the power to frame our outlook to things, hopes and expectations. They subtly give us lenses through which we view everything— life as a whole, our relationships with others and OUR OWN EXPERIENCES too.

Does Life always turn out the way it’s been fore-casted or experienced by others??

I would give a resounding, “No”.

Why??

I am a different person, I’m different from you and everybody else. There are so many factors that determine the nature of experiences we have as we course through life and while at times, they might be unfavorable to others, many more times, they are favourable to us; so the fact that someone was treated like “this” by “that”, doesn’t mean it would be same for me.

What I give— my attitude to what’s before me, tasks, endeavours—determines very largely what I would get in return, which frames MY OWN EXPERIENCE.

Yet, we can learn from the experiences of others. In fact, we are to always seek to learn from them. I can say quite confidently that knowing about the experiences of others in camp, things they had to go through and challenges they faced helped you prepare yourself better and more readily for the 3 weeks. In fact, they probably aided in some ways, your enjoyable stay so far.

What then should be our disposition?

Seek to learn always from the experiences of others, but know YOU ARE NOT LIMITED BY THEM. Always maintain a positive outlook to things no matter how demeaning or discouraging it seems; it’d most likely not turn out that way or even if it does, you’d enjoy it better and come out victorious.

That response above helped my thought process. Truly, we should seek to learn from others while also bearing in mind that the negative experience of others need not define ours.

I would also love to read your thoughts on this.

What do you think??

Care to share??

Stop over at the comments section.

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